So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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