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It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
