i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
