it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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