I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
