Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Please don't give away my fajitas
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