but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
