they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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