come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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