Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
