Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
