There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
