Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
