She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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