The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
