Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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