fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
