This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
