this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
