It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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