This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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