considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
