So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
