You just made me feel so damn special
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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