Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We need to rekindle our bromance
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
