i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize