im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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