my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm passing your future prison.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize