I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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