i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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