Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject

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(518): View more from New York

woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so

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(520): View more from Arizona

while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other

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(928): View more from Arizona

I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.

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(657): View more from California

He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"

(818): View more from California

this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!

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(740): View more from Ohio

so he's a sleeptalker.

(614): View more from Ohio

yeah??

(740): View more from Ohio

"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.

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(209): View more from California

Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms

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