you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
