naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
