Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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