I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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