I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
