I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize