She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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