You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
