No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
im on a boat
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