Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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