oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
