It's just like the Real World with babies
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
