I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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