i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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