do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
