Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
