Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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