Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
