Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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