i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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