We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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