My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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