I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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