do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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