I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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