I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So much Jack, so little girl.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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