Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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