my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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