I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
